Baby Jack's Story

Blessings

2011-07-29T14:32:00.000-07:00

On July 19th, we had a 7am 21 wk ultrasound in Omaha. Our first u/s looked good, but that was at 12 wks,so while we had positive thoughts, there was still that chance of problems. On the drive down at 6am, "Blessings" by Laura Story came on the radio. We both like the song, and was praying for a healthy u/s.

Everything looked good on the u/s, everything appears to be forming normal, and we're praying for a healthy baby. On the drive home, "Blessings" was on xm radio. Closer to home, heard it again on the FM dial 104.9. Is it a godwink? Later that day while farming, "Blessings" again was on. Even if it's coincidense, we felt there was a 'presence" around us.

We're so Excited for our "Blessing" come November.

A break in the clouds

2011-05-27T20:04:00.000-07:00

On the was home from our first ultrasound in Omaha, "love has come" by Mark Schultz came on the radio, and the first verse kinda sums it up.

Well, I know this life is filled with sorrow
And there are days when the pain just lasts and lasts
But I know there will come a day
When all our tears are washed away with a break in the clouds
His glory coming down and in that moment

As we were anticipating this day for weeks, we had prepared ourself for the worst. There was a chance that this baby could have anencephaly. As we knew the risk was there, deep down, we didn't know if we could handle it, we just kept praying and praying for a healthy baby.

At 10:40AM Friday, May 27th, we got to see, (as far as the Dr. could tell) a healthy, and perfect little baby. Granted this ultrasound was done at 14 weeks, a little earlier than most, and another is scheduled for 20 wks. We saw a complete skull, and a good forming brain. So far everything appears good and normal.

As excited we are, something happens once you lose a child, that forever changes how you view things. Weather it's friends who have been hoping to grow thir family, or another diagnosis of anencephaly. Everytime we hear or read their story, a piece of our heart goes out to them. We wish we could make the sorrow go away, but we can't.

Mixed Emotions

2011-05-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

Through our journey with Baby Jack, we've been following the blogs of other families that have had babies with anencephaly. It appears that quite a few try for another child soon afterwards. With the success of many couples, some just weeks after, we were optimistic that we would have the same luck. Weeks went by, then months with no success. Then... maybe...maybe... it appears that were pregnant. We were so excited, but hesitant to tell anyone till we knew we felt it was safe to without getting allot of hopes up for nothing. Then after about 8wks, something wasn't right, in the middle of the night Sarah awoke with pain, and minutes later, we knew it had aborted. Needless to say, we were dissappointed.

Every night when the kids go to bed and we say our prayers, we pray for all the people we know who are trying to start or expand their family. We wish their was a way to make the prayers come true.

"Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened unto you." Luke 11:9

"Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven." Matthew 18:19

"And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive." Matthew 21:22

A few months go by, and towards the end of March, after several tests, Success!! Nov 27th 2011 is the expectd due date. As excited as we are, we stil hope and pray everyday that others prayes will be answered.
We have a 4D ultrasound scheduled for the end of May, and hopefully we'll get to see a healthy, perfect little baby.

some good listning

2011-01-26T11:15:00.000-08:00

It's been a while

2011-01-25T18:50:00.000-08:00

I finally decided to sit down and write more about our journey with Baby Jack. There's no doubt that this has been a very hard journey and being able to share our thoughts here, has helped. Thoughts come and go, on how and why this happened. One of things that has happened because of Baby Jack is how it has changed our life spiritually. We've always been a church going, christian family, were both brought up that way and teach our childen the same. But when we fould out Baby Jacks diagnosis, it hurt.

For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God
1Peter 2:19

The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,
and his ears are attentive to their cry
Psalm 34:15

Throughout our journey with Baby Jack, we've learn to deal with emotions that were sometime almost to much.

The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
Psalm 34:17-20

After the loss of Baby Jack, I feel we've been made stronger to help those find the strength and direction they need from the Lord. Earlier this fall, I left the combine early on afternoon to take Sarah to a Mercy Me concert in Sioux CIty. What an event. To feel his power at the show was something.

It appears that it's harder to get the younger generation to trust in what the Lord has to offer. Moat go to church and think they're ok, but are they really?
There's this old saying,

"Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car."
— G.K. Chesterton

My point being, all this probably wouldn't have came about if it's wasn't for Baby Jack. What an impact he has made.

Forever Mine

2010-11-18T18:36:00.000-08:00

-- Forever Mine--- Those are the words that Jesus said when Baby Jack came to him. They are also the last words of Chris Tomlin's song "Amazing Grace" As he is the Lord's now, He'll remain in our hearts Forever.

This fall while in the combine, everything runs through a guys mind. This fall I was hoping to have a new co-pilot with me, this year the buddy seat was empty. Almost everyday I'd hear a song, or something on the radio, and I'd get thoughts to write about on the blog. Now hopefully the next few weeks I can get them on paper.

We got Baby Jacks headstone delivered late this summer.
Here's Jonathan and Ally by it.

We Also got our "Jack" (Bradford Pear) tree planted this Fall. It was given to us by some of our wonderful friends and neighbors. Thank you.

As we look back a year ago, we were keeping the Exciting news of a new baby a secret, then, having told that there was a fatal birth defect. What an emotional roller coaster. We've both lost loved ones, old and young, but this one hits the hardest, really hard at times. As we wanted another baby, and now he's gone, and patience is one thing I wasn't born with. Hopefully someday again..

We're thankful that we were able to concieve him, as others (some relatives and some friends) are waiting for their miracle to happen. How I wish we could grant them their wish, hopefully in time their wish will come true.

Jonathan's Drawing

2010-10-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

Today in church during the sermon, Jonathan was drawing like he usually does on the kids bulletin. After church he showed us his picture of Jesus and Baby Jack. We we just speechless. He appears to understand what happened very well and knows he's in good hands.

so much stuff

2010-10-22T06:29:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since the blog has been updated, but since we started combining beans Sept 21, we haven't had to stop for a single rain day, which is good, and the crops are coming in very very well, but any free time I have is spent with Sarah and the kids. I just came in from loading a lod of hogs and was gonna check the blogs before I head back out to the field and then decided I wanted to take a few minutes to write. There are lots of things that I want to write about Baby Jack and thoughts that we still think about, when harvest is over.

I would like everyone to keep our neghbors and friends Darren and Rachel in your prayers. They were 20 weeks along with a healthy boy when he passed away due to cord complications. What great faith we see shine from them in the midst of things, but now we remember them in our prayers.

3 months

2010-09-24T04:15:00.000-07:00

It was 3 months ago today, that we got to finally see our Baby Jack. How we waned the day to come, but yet how we didn't want the final day to come. How we wish he was here, but how Glad we are knowing he's in heaven waiting there for us to rejoice with him again. As we look back over the last 3 months, we can't say enough thanks to our friends, family and friends whom we've never met. We'd like to thanks them again for their support, encouragement, positive attitude, and for just being there.

As I was listning to the radio this morning (KGBI), The song "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real was on. The last verse we really like as we go through this journey.

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

With his strenght, I feel that the pain has been eased some, knowing that Baby Jack is with him, and We can't do this alone, and hopefully no one has to go through life alone.

Sunday's Story

2010-09-18T16:27:00.000-07:00

There's not a day that goes by that we don't talk, pray, and thing about Baby Jack. We were at a tractor pull on Labor Day weekend and a friend and his wife were there with us and their little boy was their with them. He would've been the same age as Baby Jack. How we were wishing he was here. As I look back, I remember after finding out that we were expecting, I thought he'll be a few months old and be able to take his first combine ride this fall.

About 4 wks ago, I was talking to a friend (Zane) about the song I heard (Amen) and that the fellow that wrote and sang it, it a worship leader at Trinity Church in Omaha. Turns out the fellow who help start the church, was one of the pastors that my dad and his buddies used to go to back in the day in downtown Omaha. Zane mentioned that we should visit sometime. 2 wks later on a Sunday morning, myself and 3 other guys left for Omaha. When we arrived at the church we were a bit early, so we had a roll in the fellowship hall and I noticed Sean Keith off to the side. We went over and introduced ourselves, and visited for a bit. (We had chatted before on facebook).

One of the songs that was sung during the service was "Our deliver" which was wrtten by Sean, cought my attention, it was a song that everyone was singing with with all their heart.
Here are the Lyrics.
He will come for us

As we walk through pain on earth
Today and all this hurt
Can't compare to Heaven's worth
You are good, You are good
Is the song that we'll sing
When we can't understand
All the suff’ring we see

He will wipe away every tear

And we will say

Our Deliverer has come
War is over, death is done
Our Deliverer has come
And now we sing of better days

He will come for us
Bringing Heaven's peace to earth
The trials of life will cease
His creation will be free
On that day He returns
Every tongue will confess
Jesus Christ is the Lord
He's the first and the last
Then He will wipe away every tear
And we will say

When we walk through Heaven's door
Sin will be no more
When we walk through Heaven's door
Pain will be no more
When we walk through Heaven's door
Death will be no more
When we walk through Heaven's door
We'll be alive!

About a week later his new CD showed up in the mail. What a great CD. The songs are inspiring, and truthful. Thanks Sean!!

Some my ask why all the songs and lyrics, well we're working on a project and details to come later as we see how it turns out.

Amen!

2010-08-15T19:34:00.000-07:00

another song

2010-08-15T19:20:00.000-07:00

Before Baby Jack was born we didn't listen to much christian music on the radio. A good friend was involved with getting a repeater tower near Kiron for KGBI out of Omaha. Once in a while we'd turn to it and listen for a little while and then on to the next station. Then just a couple years ago my brother started going to a Church in Alta,IA that had a contemporary style service. When ever I'd ride with him more than likely the radio was on 104.9 KGBI. After we found out about Baby Jack, we found ourselves tuning in more as well, the songs reassuring our faith and the promise someday.

Fast forward to last thursday I had the radio on in the shop and they played a new song "Amen" by Sean Keith from Omaha, NE. Heard it again that night, then did some looking on you tube and found it. What an inspiring song.

Amelia Grace

2010-08-04T05:46:00.000-07:00

Today we're keeping in our thoughts and praying for the Lorang family. Tim, Melissa, and Noah as Amelia's funeral service is today.
http://ameliagracelorang.blogspot.com/

more thoughts

2010-08-02T19:19:00.000-07:00

For the last few days I've been wanting to sit down and write for a while on Baby Jack's blog, and tonight I got home early enough to take some time to do it. Days seem to come and go, but not a one goes by where we don't think of Baby Jack. At night when we tuck Jonathan in and he says his prayers, it's so touching to hear him talk to his little brother. It's different every time, but in general the same ideas. Here's a bit of what he says.

" Oh baby Jack, we love you, we miss you, but we know Jesus needs you up in heaven, Oh Baby Jack, we wish you were here with us, but we know you're safe and watching over us, Oh Baby Jack, we know Jesus made you all better and oh we love you Baby Jack. Amen"

Aunt Val told them last week to be watching the mail for something to arrive for them. Val told Sarah that she got them their own book about Baby Jack. She had made them on shutterfly and we found out that they were going ot delivered today. When they came, they were so excited that they each had their own book with their little brother in it.

.

Today Would've been the Day

2010-07-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

Today was originally Baby Jacks due date. Today we were hoping to welcome a new baby. When we found out we were expecting our first, we didn't find out if it was a boy or girl. The second on, I found out, but Sarah didnt' want to know. It was a girl. When we found out about #3, we decided that we were not going to find out. Then when the tech was performing the ultrasound, she had asked us to turn away cause she was going to looking in the "area", but I figured I probably couldn't tell anyway, well turns out, it was pretty easy to see that it was a boy, I was thrilled, then came total silence, something was wrong.

For "The Rest of the Story" (as Paul Harvey used to say), it is told earlier in the blog.

Oh how we miss him, Jonathan talks to him every night, but that's for another post. We have learned allot, met new friends, brought us closer, listened to others tell their story and hope we can be there to support others, as they have been there for us.

2010-07-15T06:11:00.000-07:00

Being Strong

2010-07-13T19:36:00.000-07:00

and no I don't mean pumping weights. People have commented to us how strong we are in our dealing with Baby Jacks passing. Strong? What makes us Strong? We don't feel we're any different that anyone else. It's true we don't show much emotion in public, so maybe they're not seeing the teary eyed side. We do talk about Baby Jack allot. The cemetary is a little over a mile away, and we wave and say Hi to him everytime we drive by. We do have faith that someday we'll see him again. We also take comfort in a number of songs that have touched our hearts.

Here's the first verse of "What Faith can do" by Kutless
Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

We sang the song "I will Rise" by Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

A friend sang the song "Homesick" by Mercy Me
We liked every line and word on that song, so instead of posting the lyrics,
scroll down and it's on the music player and click on it and it should play.

There is one line from Homesick that fits in here though
"Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow"

We believe that someday we'll see him and believe that our Faith in God has gave us the "Strength" to brave the "Storm"

A VERY Exciting Email!!

2010-07-07T19:41:00.000-07:00

Today we recieved an email from Melinda. Here is the email.
Brad, Sarah and Family,
I am so sorry for the passing of Baby Jack. Myself and family send our condolences. Reason for this email is that I am from Indiana Pennsylvania and my boyfriend (a gas well tender for a local company) called me one day and said hey did you hear of any balloon releases for a Baby Jack and I said no, he said well I found one at my pump jacks in Kittanning, Pa. I said I will check into it. Well I am a big facebook fan so I posted it on my page and no one herd anything about it, but everyone had wished me luck trying to find info on it! So when Jay got home I got the balloon with a note card attached from him and read it and on the back had a note from Aunt Val! This really made me think where did this come from, well this evening (7/6/10) I was at work and he texted me and said he may have found out where the balloon came from and I was shocked that it had went over 900 miles away from where the release was! How shocked I was to then find your email and thought I would love to contact you and let you know how amazingly far it had gone!!! Again I am so sorry for the passing of that precious little bundle of joy! My heart goes out to you and the family!! Please respond to this and tell if there is an Aunt Val I have her note! Going to put it in my Bible!!! Love Melinda

Needless to say, that is incredible, How something so small and fragile could drift so far, and then to be found and be in contact with us, is very touching.

1 wk later

2010-07-05T19:41:00.000-07:00

It's hard to belive that 1 week has passed since Baby Jacks funeral. I remember the night before the funeral, it may sound weird but I was kinda excited. Excited to see him one more time and Celebrate his short life with friends and family around. While it was a hard place to be emotionally, we got to sing songs with him, pray with him, and lay him to rest physically, yet live with him spiritually. That Monday seem to go so fast, it was one of those days that I wanted to last forever, that night after everyone left, we thought, WOW! what a day!

We're so blessed to have the support that we have had through this journey. The support of friends and family is overwhelming. We appreciate all the thoughts, prayers, cards, flowers, lunchs, and visits that we've recieved. We've decided to purchase new playground equipment for the parks in Kiron and Schleswig in memory of Baby Jack.

2010-07-01T05:44:00.000-07:00

2010-06-29T20:20:00.000-07:00

Jonathan and Ally discussing who's pulling Baby Jack down the isle

The balloons as they lift off into the heavens

The Perfect Day

2010-06-28T19:50:00.001-07:00

It's almost 10pm, friends and family have left, and the house is almost back in order. We're still amaized at the turnout for the funeral for Baby Jack. When were driving back from the Dr. in Omaha (right after we found out), at first we thought just a private family cerrmony. Then a week or so goes by, and the word starts to spread about Baby Jack and his condition. Then we got thinking, we could have an open service at the church, we both have a fairly large extended family that was going to arrive. So we decided on that.

While writing in the blog, I have Youtube on as well. We've really been infuenced by the more contempory style of christian music and so far I've added quite a few of them to the blog. So as the songs play over and over, the words sink in and really start to hit home. I told Sarah, these are powerful songs, songs that hopefully our children and friends will remember through the years.

We had the casket open an hour before the service. As we were greeting people, the line of friends coming in, never slowed down. Even after we left to have the "family meeting" in the church basement, more came in.

When we walked up the center aisle, we were just in awe. We were both touched to see so many friends there to support us todaym and Today was NOT and easy day, but seeing friends and family gathered, singing, praying for Baby Jack was most comforting.

weeks prior we attended a church in Denison. We had asked our friend Brad (who happens to be their praise leader) if he could sing at Baby Jacks funeral. He graciously accepted. When we started going over the songs, we brainstormed a bit and added a guitar and 2 more vocals.

Brad and his group led the congregation in Singing "I Will Rise" then after the verses, they led us again in singing "Give Me Jesus". An Excellent and very touching sermon was ready by Pastor Ernst, Brad then sang solo "Homesick" by Mercy Me, followed by prayer and comcluded with everyone singing "Jesus Loves Me". Sarah and I would like to thank Brad and his freinds again for what they did. They music was SOOO beautiful, and I know we'll be singing them for a long time to come. Thanks again you guys, you made it special for us and Jack.

We carried the casket to our suburban and headed towards the cemetary. I was still in awe over what had just happened. We headed towards our cemetary. It was nice to see that a majority of the cars we met, pull of to the side and stop while the procession passes by. At the cemetary after the commital, we had blue balloons that we had handed out at the church to everyone with slips of paper attached to write a note to Baby Jack. On the count of 3, close to 100 balloons were released and everyone watched as the caught the west breeze and slowly lifted towards heaven.

My grandpa Lundell used to be the grave digger at our church cemetary, so I asked if we could dig our own too. Our wish was granted and on the previous Saturday afternoon, myself, Sarah, Jonathan, my dad, uncle Vance, brother Brain and his girlfriend
Lisa, spent a couple hours digging Baby Jacks grave. Some asked why?, I dont' really know why we did, It seemed small, was small but deep, 4' down to be exact. We did it with spades, shovels and Jonathan running the backhoe. I don't know why we did, it was just something that I wanted to do and everyone else chipped in to help. We cut the sod, to install back on top and scooped all the dirt to the loader bucket. After we were finished, we then took the tractor and loader, back to the shed to keep the dirt dry to place back on top, in case of rain, and good thing we did, Sat night we got close to 3" of rain.

After the balloon release, Anyone that wanted to leave could return to the farm for fellowship and food. Hardly anyone left. It was then announced that anyone who wished could take a shovelful of dirt to be placed back in the grave. Still no one left. Most stayed with us and we slowly shovel by shovel filled the tiny grave full. I was moved. I'm sure Baby Jack is looking down thinking, "wow, all this for me?"
Was it right or wrong, I don't know, it was however a time that we got to spend together for him and will always remember being a part of it.
I've got to end this here tonight. It's taken 2 hours to type this, lots of kleenex, and I hear Jonathan crying. More later and hopefully pictures soon

Let it Rain

2010-06-27T20:26:00.000-07:00

http://www.pfannebecker.com/detailObituary.asp?customerID=189

Jack Alan Lundell

Born: 6/24/2010

Died: 6/24/2010

Services: Monday, June 28, 2010 at 2:30 P.M. at Immanuel Lutheran Church, Schleswig, Iowa

Visitation: Monday, June 28, 2010 at 1:30 P.M. at Immanuel Lutheran Church, Schleswig, Iowa

Memorials: Donors Choice

Cemetery: Bethel Lutheran Cemetery, Kiron, Iowa

Jack Alan Lundell, infant son of Brad and Sarah Gierstorf Lundell, was stillborn at 8:25 p.m., Thursday, June 24, 2010, at Crawford County Memorial Hospital in Denison, Iowa.

When looking back over the life of Jack, many may think that because He didn't come into this world with a heartbeat, we couldn't know a lot about him. But we believe that life begins at conception. We actually had over 8 months with Jack. We want you to know a bit about our son. We know Jack went to church and listened to Jonathan and Ally sing ‘Jesus Loves Me’ many times. He went to school activities, community volunteer functions with mom and listened to Ally's girlie screams. When mom wore her maternity pants at her waist, he would kick until they were down. Dad would enjoy tickling his new baby. Jack heard bedtime stories, big tractors and was part of family times.

One night when mom laid down with Jonathan, Jack was moving so much that Jonathan said, "Mom, tonight Jack is just gyrating." Jack's life was one that many may have chosen to end prematurely once troubling ultrasounds were seen. It appeared that there may be possible problems with his brain. Some might think, would it be "WORTH" continuing to carry Jack to term. We acknowledged that GOD is the one in control of giving and taking life, we would NOT elect to play God, and take our baby's life. Instead, we opted to do everything possible to carry our baby to term. Psalm 139: 13-16 says: “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”

We prayed earnestly for Jack, for we know that God is a God of miracles and at his word Jack could be healed. We also read that God says in Proverbs 3:5, "Trust in the Lord with all your Heart and lean not on your own understanding." Even though we may never understand why, may our God be glorified through our son Jack.

Of course our dreams of Jack riding with Jonathan on the 4 wheeler, or helping Grandpa Lundell at the shop or even playing golf with Grandpa Gierstorf will not be realized, we are conforted by knowing that Jesus takes perfect care of our little boy.

God is going to have to continue to work on our hearts in understanding why this happened, and we will have to find comfort in the promise found in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” We do not know why this happened, and this side of heaven we may never know, but we do know that through whatever we face, we will be held firmly in the Lord's hand.

In heaven, he joins his maternal great grandparents: Ramona Gierstorf and Art and Donna Keuhl and paternal great grandparents: Wayne Kindellsperger and Harold and Ellen Lundell.

Those awaiting their heavenly reunion with Jack include his parents: Brad and Sarah Lundell of Kiron, Iowa; one brother: Jonathan Lundell of Kiron, Iowa; one sister: Ally Lundell of Kiron, Iowa; Maternal grandparents: Dennis and Judy Gierstorf of Schleswig, Iowa; Paternal grandparents: Jim and Julie Lundell of Kiron, Iowa; Maternal Great Grandfather: Delbert Gierstorf of Schleswig, Iowa; Paternal Great Grandmother: Jean Cooper of Orion, Illinois; uncles, aunts, cousins, other relatives and friends.

Funeral services will be held at 2:30 p.m., Monday, June 28, 2010, at Immanuel Lutheran Church in Schleswig, Iowa, with the Rev. Eugene Ernst officiating. Led by songleaders, Brad Griffin, Deb Lindgren, Ken MacGregor and Carrie Gunderson, the congregation joined in singing “I Will Rise” “Give Me Jesus” and “Jesus Loves Me” with Brad Griffin singing the solo “Homesick”. Marlene Hight served as organist. Jonathan and Ally Lundell served as pallbearers for their little brother. Interment was at Bethel Lutheran Cemetery, Kiron, Iowa. Following the interment all were invited to the Brad and Sarah Lundell farm for fellowship and refreshments. The Pfannebecker Funeral Home, www.pfannebecker.com, in Denison is in charge of arrangements.

2010-06-26T06:01:00.000-07:00

Being thankful

2010-06-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

After Jack was born, and we got settled in the room, I thought how thankful we really are. You may ask, how can someone be thankful at a time like this? We knew the outcome was fatal.
We're thankful that we were able to concieve him. We all know couples that either can't have children or have problems and risks associated with it. They need to be in our prayers that hopefully someday their prayers may be answered.

We're thankful that we had time to prepare for him to enter and exit this world so soon. Just the other day, a friend in a local town died of a heart attack. I'm sure friends and family have questions that will go unanswered. Even though we don't and probably won't know what caused his anenecephaly, we were able to understand what it is, and prepare ourselves mentally for his arrival.

We're thankful for the friends and family that we have.

Time to fill the gaps

2010-06-25T12:34:00.000-07:00

Well, we're back home, a little empty handed but that we knew. Our journey yesterday started by arriving at the hospital at 7:30AM. We got checked in and headed to the delivery room. Sarah got in her gown and they started her on citotek (sp?). It's a pill that contains the hormones to dialate the cervix. Since Jack has allready passed, it was time for him to be out to prevent Sarah from an infection and him from deteriating. They started them around 8:30AM, by noon, she was at a 2.By then Sarah's sister in law Valerie was there to help us with anyting we needed. Another dose was givin shortly after. I was hoping he would've arrived by now, but it takes time and that we had. Our Photographer (Danika) was gracious enough to take the whole day off and await our call to phototgraph Jack.

So, that afternoon we all ended up taking naps in the delivery room. At 5:30, Doc arrived again and by then Sarah was dilated to a 4, and enough time has passed so another dose was givin. Some friends stop by to check on Sarah, after they had left, I left to get a light snack for the 3 of us. We sat around (Sarah was pretty content with here slushy) and watched some tv, then at 8, Doc returned to check and some small contractions were starting. He thought it's going to be soon. Sarah's mom (Judy) and Jonathan arrived, and as we were looking at the new baby in the nursery, one of the nurses hollered my name, and said (It's Time!) I rushed back to the delivery room, and Val was on one side and I onthe other, and Sarah started to push.
It took about 5 pushes and Out he came. WOW, I couldn't hardley believe it, HE's here.

He was covered in baby goo, but precious. He had 2 perfect hands, 10 perfect fingers, 10 perfect toes, eyes, ears, a nose and mouth like Ally's (his older sister) blond hair, blue eyes. Other than his anencephaly, he was perfect.
The labor was so quick, that had he been living, we're sure he'd had survived it.

He's Here, He's Here!!!!!

2010-06-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

Just when we thought that it was going ot take all night, around 8:20pm, the contractions started to get serious, and by 8:25pm, he was delivered.
Jack Alan Lundell
5lbs,
we still need to get him measured and cleaned up,
Other than the anencephaly, a healthy complete baby boy!!!!

still waiting...

2010-06-24T15:39:00.001-07:00

I was hoping that by know I coul dbe writing that he's here. Unfortunatly we're still waiting and waiting, Doc should be back soon, and we'll see where we're at.

Today's the day, well Hopefully

2010-06-24T07:01:00.000-07:00

This morning we arrived at the hospital at 7:30 to be induced. Since Jack is allready gone, it's time to get him out into the world. We got signed in and met with our Dr. As I write this now, Sarah can start to feel a slight contraction
Jonathan and Ally are both home with both grandma's and grandpa's anxiously waiting to see their little brother.

The time has come

2010-06-22T15:08:00.000-07:00

I knew this day would come. In one way I was excited to finally see our little boy. In another way I wasn't, cause I knew what the outcome was and didn't know if we were ready to accept that it actually happened. For the past few days Sarah hasn't been able to feel him move much. Last night I could tell that something was wrong, today at the Dr. office, couldn't find a beat, then an ultrasound confirmed it.

Not much has changed

2010-06-11T04:32:00.000-07:00

Not much has changed since last time I posted. Sarah had a Dr. appointment in Denison last Friday. Jack's heartbeat was 138 and strong, he's still growing, and so far he and Sarah seem to be doing good. We appreciate everyone's thoughts, prayers, and for thinking of us as we go throught this journey.

Family Picture Time

2010-05-31T18:53:00.000-07:00

A few of the pics taken by Knop Photography

Dr. appointment on Friday

2010-05-31T18:41:00.000-07:00

Well to bring everyone up to speed. Friday we had a Dr. appointment in Omaha to see how things are progressing. Appointment was at 10, finally got in at 10:30, (that drives me nuts) started the ultrasound, evidently Jack didn't want ot be filmed, cause he was head down and couldn't get any decent pics, but everything seemed good, except due to the anencephaly there was more amniotic fluid than normal, but nothing to be concerned about yet. When they started the ultrasound a lady in her 50-60's came in and started talking to us about procedures when he arrives (evidently noone told here that we're going to have him in Denison), we were trying to watch the ultrasound and she's blabbing and blabbing, we tell here that we're trying to give her hints that we're kiinda "occupied" at the moment. Finally she either got the hint or was done and left, (I was thinking--How Rude to come in during, couldn't it wait till after? Anyway, got back home didn't find out anything new. we have an appointment back there in 4 wks, but I have a feeling Jack may arrive sooner. Sometimes I think they schedule plenty of appointments so they can pay for thier new hospital from the insurance companies.

Need a rain

2010-05-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

Lately we've been looking over songs that we'd like at Jacks funeral. We've found several that we really like, the words and meaning are so powerful, yet there seems be be a common factor in some of them, RAIN. It could be "Praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns, "Bring the rain", "Word of God speak", by Mercy Me, to name a few. I like these lines from "Bring the rain" the best,
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

It's easy to say and feel that we can and will do anything to be closer to God and bring him Glory, yet he allows pain and sorrow to come, at that point we wonder if he's still there. If we are close to him as possible, even through the times of pain, he will lead us through the "Rain" and "Storms"

Jeremiah 14:22
Do any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain?
Do the skies themselves send down showers?
No, it is you, O LORD our God.
Therefore our hope is in you,
for you are the one who does all this.

The Crops could also use a "Rain" too.

2010-05-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

I'm sure some of you know, this blog is being written from a dad's point of view. After we found out the diagnosis of Jack, it was hard for Sarah to put her thought into words. We had searched google and found links to some blogs and I really liked the idea. We've learned allot from them and hope ours can be helpful to others.

A week ago Wednesday we had a Dr. appointment to go over the progress. (I know it was over a week ago, but as a farmer, on rainy days I can spend more time during the day on the computer, but when the storms pass and it get dry again, the back to the fields to plant the crops.)
Everything seemed to be ok with Sarah and the Baby. We decided to plan on having the baby in Denison, vs. Omaha. Both of our families and freinds are closer around home. We'd like to thank Holly for the idea of a birth plan. We used yours are an outline and modified it to fit us. Our Dr. had nver heard of one before and really liked the idea. We've got family pictures tomorrow. Our photographer is the same one that'll take pictures when Jack arrives.

We've started to think about the funeral. We've got an idea to included more modern and contemporary christian songs. We were at a freinds funeral this spring and we sang the song "Give me Jesus". We really liked it and the message that it sends. It's one of those songs that is simple, yet a powerful message, it'll be one of the songs. (Thanks Gus)

Update from this morning

2010-05-14T12:45:00.000-07:00

It appears that hopefully Jack was taking a long and much needed nap. I came back to the house mid morning to check on Sarah and she seemed allot better. She could feel him moving around again. Talk about an emotional roller coaster. Even though we know what the outcome is, (then there's always the chace of a miracle)when you feel him kick and move, he's alive.

got some catching up to do

2010-05-14T06:09:00.000-07:00

We had a Dr. appointment on wed, more detaisl to come, but up until now Sarah could always feel Jack move around, last night she mentioned that she didn't feel him as much ( I ask her all the time if he's moving). Now Fri morning, still he's not moving. It has us concerned, is he sleeping in? We know what the ultimate outcome is, but everytime we felt him move, we knew he was alive and well...now were starting to get worried... More details as we know it, gonna make a call to the Dr.

Being prepared

2010-05-10T19:23:00.000-07:00

As we near week 30 there are things that have to be done before Jack arrives. Being his time here will be shorter than most, we've started to plan ahead for whats to come. On the way back from the Dr. in Omaha we made a call to our funeral home director. Not the call I was wanting to make, but it had to be done. Last week our pastor stopped by, one of the items we discussed was having him baptised right after he's delivered, (to us that is very important that he become a child of God's). After church on Sunday, we stopped by the cemetary and saw the place where he'll be buried, next to Brad's Grandma and Grandpa Lundell. When we returned home we started going over the music selection. We're hopfully going to try a more contemporary style service (if pastor allows)There are allot of newer songs that we both like (quite a few are on our music list as the bottom of the page). On Friday we talked to the photographer and she was gracious to be able to take pics as soon as Jack arrives.

One issue that gets talked about is whether to carry to full term or not. It's a decision that's hard to live with either way. We found out the diagnosis at 28 weeks. For us weather it was 28 or 16, either way, we gave him life and was not going to take it away from him. Both of our other 2 children where delivered naturally and we've decided to have Jack this way as well, unless an emergency c section is needed for Sarah's sake. It appears the chances for his survival may be a little less, but it's a chance we're going to take, there have been success stories with this way as well.

The baby's room

2010-05-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

When our first two children were born, we lived in an older story and a half farm house. It was old, but kinda fixed up (ok it was an old house with fresh paint and carpet). The main BR was on the mail level and 2 BR upstairs. Before kids, we had the upstairs blocked off to keep the heat down. When we found out we were expeting our first, with help of friends and family, we tore off the old plaster and insulated and redid the upstairs for our kids. When they were born, we kept them in a bassenet in our room for a while. Then when it was time for the crib upstairs they went to their own room. Up and down, up and down, they were narrow and kinda steep steps in the old house, but 100's and 100's of trips up and down the steps, sometime's 1/2 asleep in the middle of the night bringing a bottle up to feed them.

Almost 2 years ago, we made the decision that instead of fixing up the rest of the house and adding on (it needed everything but the upstairs) to build a new one. We have 3 BR in the basement and 2 on the main level. One is the Master and the other is to be the new baby's room, right next to ours. We had the glider, recliner, baby swing all ready for the new arrival. Sarah has been saying that I need to get the crib put up, cause the due dates getting closer (I'm thinking I still got 2 months).
Now we have a room with no crib that is longing for the smell of a dirty diaper, or the cries of a hungry baby. We hope and pray someday it will get to have those things.

Time to think

2010-05-06T14:46:00.000-07:00

Last night was a late night, or some call it an early morning. We feed turkeys for Sara Lee Foods, and our birds were scheduled to be delivered last night. My service person is always there to do the unloading and looks over the birds to make sure they arrive ok. I'm there to assist him. The first truck came at 9pm (they move them from the brooder to the finisher (me) at night so they stay calm). The trucks arrive every 30 minutes, and it takes about 12 truck of birds to fill the barns. So there is time to think and ponder in between loads. Last night I was thinking how having the ability to connect with freinds and strangers (through the internet) has helped us understand what anencephaly is and we have found websites and blogs with others that are in the same situation. We've chatted with people from Maine to California and everywhere in between. Even the shortest notes that someone leaves, the kind words of support, either by email or on a chat board, or just a phone call, can make a difference.

Jonathan and Jack

2010-05-05T10:54:00.000-07:00

After our U/S in Omaha we brought home the pictures of Jack. When we arrived home, we showed them to Jonathan (our 6 yr old). He was excited that he was going to have a baby brother.

Rewind a couple of years and there was a younger boy (Trent)who was freinds with Brain (my younger brother). He lived in Odebolt, but loved coming out to the farm with Brian. As Trent grew older, he was out more and more, and Jonathan liked to see what he was up to. Jonathan liked hanging out with him. Trent passed away at the age of 16 years from a hunting accident. We told Jonathan that Trent went to live with Jesus and watch over us. Jonathan was first uneasy, but after seeing Trent's grave and knowing he's with Jesus, he accpeted the fact and to this day likes to go and see Trent.

We told Jonathan that his baby brother was sick and when he's born, he will go live in heaven with Jesus and Trent. Jonathan seems to be doing fine, He seems to have a sense of confidence, cause Trent is there and "he will watch out for him".

2010-05-04T20:20:00.000-07:00

2010-05-04T19:58:00.000-07:00

We had scheduled ultrasound in Denison on Thursday April 29th. At first it was going good, saw the hands, fingers, toes. Measured the arms, amnitotic fluid and all the routine prcedures. With our other 2 children we were in and out in 15 min, with pics of our babys to boot. Something seemed strange, it was starting to take way to long, and the tech seemed to be saving ALOT of pictures. After she was done, she told us to wait outside in the wating room. I was thinking, "wait a sec, we've never waited before, what's wrong, where's our pics?".

So we waited for what seemed like forever, (oh yah, they need better reading material, one newspaper and a bunch of women's magazine doesn't cut it for the guys). Then the tech returned, we could meet with the doc in 2 hours. Ok, so something isn't rights, and we have to wait AGAIN, (like Charlie Brown says, UGGGGHHHHH!!!!)
I had to return to the Farm, Sarah went back to work, both of us thinking, what could be wrong, we saw the heart, 4 valves, arms, legs, toes, eyes, lips, it's-- well found out it's a boy, what are we missing,

2 hours seemed like days. Then Sarah met with the doc, and I got the call from Sarah, devestating news, Our healthy baby boy has anencephaly.

It's shocking, all the excitiment that has been building, and then to learn that he will not live for very long once, he's born. I'ts funny how some things you never forget. I still remember to the day, the temp outside, windspeed I found out were were expecting our first and second child. This time, the day has been frozen in time. I had to help a freind load hogs, out of two different barns. We got the first loaded, and were driving ot the second when I talked to Sarah and she told me news. I knew from being at the hospital it probably wasn't good, but was still hangin on for that last thread of hope. Our baby has a fatal birth defect. I was just in an awe, I helped Mark finish loading, but it was all kinda blurry, I don't know if the reality had actually sunk in right away.

Our doc suggested that we see a perinatal doc in Omaha to explain things better. I spoke with our nurse, and they could get us in at 7:30 the next morning. So Grandma Judy arrives at our house at 5Am the next morning to get Jonathan on the bus and Ally to the sitters while Sarah and I head to Omaha.

We met with Dr. Levine, and they did another ultrasound and basically confirmed what we learned in Denison. They were able to get some really good pics of him for us, he looks so perfect. What an impact a couple of cells have in the development.

2010-05-03T22:36:00.001-07:00

Give me Jesus

2010-05-03T22:20:00.000-07:00

2010-05-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

7 months ago, our wish was answered, we were expecting our 3rd child in July, we were so excited. We waited till Christmas to tell everyone, and thought, next christmas will be different with a baby crawling around again.

Baby Jack, A story of time

2010-05-02T10:46:00.000-07:00

Well, usually I'm not the one to write a blog, but today is a new day and I thought I'd share our story with you from a Dad's point of View